please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
