If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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