but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
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