Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
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