and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
