i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I have fence marks all over my body
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
