Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Randomize
