Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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