Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
