Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
