What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
