bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
