oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
