Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
