Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
