people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
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