So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
did i just pee glitter
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
