i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize