So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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