i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
