So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
