Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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