if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
