Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
