I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
