I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
