im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
