good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
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