I just pynch a tree in the face
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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