Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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