I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Randomize
