My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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