I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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