Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
