you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
