so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
