I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
