Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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