Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
