yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
