so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
