I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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