Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
