she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
your like the ambassador to my penis.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize