Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
