I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
