AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
