My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
did you just send me my own nude
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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