It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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