People in love make me want to vomit
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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