The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
