one two three fourrrrnication!
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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