Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Randomize
