I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Randomize
