I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
