Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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