I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
