he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
