lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize
