What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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