my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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