also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Randomize
