that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize