I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
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